Devotion Pays Off: The Photographic Proof!

Yes, Gavinites, that is our very own JesseGav disciple, Nona Morris, posing with the Gav. I’m sure you all remember Nona and the hairdoll she fashioned from hair collected on-site at City Hall. We’re sad to report that she decided against including the hairdoll in the photo op. But, she did detail the following exchange with the Gav:

Nona: Gavin! You’re my mayor! Can I take a photo with you?
Gavin: Sure…I work for you.

Sigh. The Gav cannot allude Alex and I forever.

Before I sign off, let’s address the giant, lumbering elephant in the room: Yes, it’s been exactly a month since we last posted. But, as always, we have an excellent, excellent excuse for our absence. (Remember, last time?) I don’t want to give too much away, but the reason for our absence can be explained by one or all of the following:

a.) A rip in the time-space continuum.
b.) Major, life-changing tragedy.
c.) Laziness.

Stay tuned for a gripping video account of a, b, and/or c.

–Maggie Arlington

GavinSucks.com Soon To Be GavinRocks.com?

It’s been a rough week, Gavinites. We weren’t prepared for the vitriolic response to our beer and cocktail attack on Dean of GavinSucks.com. (We were called “she-devils” and threatened with an attack from the infamous chickens.) And how could we possibly have expected such widespread coverage or linkage? (See: SFGate, SFist, SF Bay Guardian, SFPartyParty, Calitics, Left In SF, MortarBlog, Berkeley Bubble and GavinSucks.com.) Our server even temporarily crashed under the traffic surge, but the site’s back up and running. Thank goodness, because we have a very special update for you.

It was clear from his coverage of our recent encounter that Dean just didn’t get our message. We just want him to understand, that’s all. So, we decided to take things to the next level. And by “next level” I mean stalking, kidnapping and brainwashing.

(Also, note that Guy McCool has thankfully returned as our camera guy–no more missed or shaky footage! Though he is noticeably silent, due to a nasty case of laryngitis. Thanks for being such a trooper, Guy!)

The Aftermath

Look, Katsopo-Gavinites–there’s been a lot of talk about our valiant confrontation last night with Dean of GavinSucks.com. Rest assured that I am not here to apologize for Maggie and I’s crusade at all, nor am I here to enter into all the ugly talk over whether it was a feat worthy of Magz and I’s stellar reputations. Um, when Washington crossed the Delaware, did snarky onlookers accuse him of “schoolyard antics,” or “shameless PR stunts?” No. Because he was standing up for what he believed in, and so it was with Maggie and I last night.

GavinSucks.com, This is War!

Dear Katsopo-Gavinites, we know that you’ll understand our uncharacteristic behavior depicted in the video below. Usually, we’re a pair of classy, winsome young women. But, we’re very protective of the Gav. So, when we heard that several San Francisco bloggers, including Dean of GavinSucks.com (don’t click the link, for the love of Pete!), were getting together to gripe about Gavin we knew we had to make an appearance.

And did we.

You’ll have to excuse the camera work–we’re broadcast reporters and much more comfortable in front of the camera. Plus, we were a little nervous.

After we let our feelings be known, one of the gathered bloggers yells, “That’s not cool!” You know what isn’t cool? Spleen-spewing blogs driven by pure jealousy.

–Maggie Arlington

Chasing Jess

Benefits of Prison

Wow, JesseGavinites. As we’ve alluded to on The Mayor and The Hair, our Jesse cab chase left us changed women. We’ve grown from the many new experiences of our little adventure–not the least of which are our new tattoos. Magz and I had to do something to pass the time while we were in prison, and our new BFF-Behind-Bars, Lola Mae “Toughcakes” Gummit, did us the honor of carving letters into our knuckles and then grinding ballpoint pen ink into the wounds to create our very own JesseGav prison tats!

 

Follow That Cab!

Change can take years, months, weeks or days. Sometimes, though, it takes just 24 hours. We are changed women. And as a result, Katsopo-Gavinites, you are changed, too.

As detailed by our earlier video report, late Thursday night we received an instant message from a dedicated JesseGav disciple who reported that he was riding in Jesse’s cab. We immediately left in pursuit of our hirsute hottie and didn’t return until just past midnight on Friday.

It was a gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, hair raising 24 hours. We’ve been working all weekend on a video recap–stay tuned for the final product Wednesday night. Just to tide you over, we present the top ten signs that you’re riding in Jesse’s cab…

BREAKING NEWS: JESSE SIGHTING!

guy here. i just meandered over to maggie’s apartment to see how the gals were doing. only to find the front door left unlocked and the apartment deserted. the video recording left on maggie’s laptop explains it all. in the interest of breaking news, i thought I’d throw this video up. it’s what the gals would want.

an update is imminent, i’m sure. keep it mccool.

–guy mccool

Only One Winner of Hair Primaries

 

Check the offending article for yourself. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Back in The Game and Hotter Than Ever!

Greetings, my beloved TMathletes! This post is a joyous occasion for me, and I say that for several reasons. For one, it officially ends the two week vacation that Magz and I took after the success and, let’s face it, awesome feat of our first public appearance. We hope the videos were enough to curb your JesseGav appetites during the hiatus. Now we can all stop fighting the rabid monkey of frequent TMaTH updates on our backs, and something tells me the Boys will be keeping us busy!

But the real reason my cheeks are all aglow with the hot flush of excitement is that this morning, as I ventured out to get my weekly grocery shopping done before all the unsavory St. Paddy’s madness hit the streets, I had a bit of an amorous encounter on Muni. With a man. With a mulleted man.

Let me break down the thrill for you:

 

Now I know all the ladies out there will understand the situation I found myself in. It was early on a Saturday morning, and I was just heading over to Safeway to stock up on enough canned tuna and Cheez-Its to last me through another workin’ week. I was also hoping it’d be a 2-for-1 kitty litter day, but that was about all I was expecting in the way of thrills.

Anyway, I was minding my own business on the Muni train when I noticed a strange, unfamiliar sensation take hold of me. I looked to my left. Nothing. Looked to my right. There it was. Or, rather, there he was.

Yes, there, amidst the morning public transit flotsam of sleepy shoppers and the hungover throngs, was said fine specimen of a man with said mullet totally checking me out.